Carnivore

“Make sure you go to Carnivore.” Had I received a penny for every time I’d heard this suggestion I would, well, now have about 11 pennies. Not quite a millionaire, but certainly richer than had I received a penny for each time another specific culinary suggestion was made.

Carnivore, as many readers may be familiar, is the world famous Nairobi eatery renowned for serving unlimited quantities of various meats, including game meats. The ‘unlimited’ still holds true, though ‘various’ would now be a generous adjective, and ‘game’ would be nigh inaccurate. Where once one went to Carnivore to feast on all manner of exotic meat (crocodile, etc), today one would be lucky to be served anything beyond standard fare: chicken, beef, pork, lamb.

The disappearance of exotic meats is one of the reasons why Carnivore has lost its appeal. The other, more important reason, is evolution. As with many other popular tourist destinations, fame has caused Carnivore to sacrifice some of its original character at the altar of standardized glitz and commercialism. When I patronized there for the first time a couple of weeks back I got the distinct feeling that I was walking into just another Planet Hollywood or Hard Rock Café, complete with t-shirt selling souvenir shop.

But this is not to suggest that Carnivore is not worth a visit. If you’re very hungry, in the mood for lots and lots of meat, as well as some variety, then there is probably no better bet. For a little over $20 you can eat to your heart’s content (and accelerate the arrival of your first coronary by a few days). Depending on your luck you could even nibble on something a little unusual, such as Ostrich balls (to be interpreted in the less squeamish of the two interpretations you might be considering).

But if you’re after an authentic Kenyan meat-eating experience, then don’t drive past your typical highway-side nyama choma stand.